In which The Gay Recluse unveils the hidden assets of Washington Heights.

For those of you who have grown fatigued by the unceasing onslaught of “hot” photographs, videos and movie clips featuring live male actors and models, why not take a trip to Audubon Terrace in Washington Heights? Here you can reconnect with 5000 years of civilization, a period of history (or so it has been widely reported) during which 1) the internet didn’t exist and 2) neither did cell-phone cameras (!). Commissioned in the early 1900s by Archer Milton Huntington (founder of the equally beautiful Hispanic Society, which owns the statues and the terrace on which they are located) and sculpted by his wife Anna Hyatt Huntington (wtf?), these statues offer a staggeringly wide array of choices for the modern palette. Whatever was going on with Arthur and Anna (we have our theories), we owe them a debt of gratitude for providing future generations with such an exceedingly fine collection of smokin’ hot statuary (if not quite the Barberini Faun). We present just a few here:

Hot sword.

Another view of the hilt.

A hot dad.

Nice six for an older guy.

Hot twink in a tunic.

Into diapers?

Hot group sex.

Hot bears.

Woof.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup: