In which The Gay Recluse holds a contest. Sort of.

Today we received two unofficial entries for the contest, “unofficial” because 1) the first statue is in Europe and we are primarily interested in locating the hottest gay statues in the U.S., and 2) the second statue doesn’t exist except in someone’s photoshopallucination! Yet we still wanted to present both submissions to readers because we think the contrast reveals some interesting and fundamental points about statuary hotness.

Reader Mike writes about Statue 1:

I think it goes without saying that David sets the standard for the hottest gay statue ever, so I’m sending along a fabulous photo document for your enjoyment!

As for Statue 2, Reader Jeff writes:

I’m not sure this qualifies as smokin’ hot, but here’s my “chaser” entry.

Needless to say, we were intrigued! Let’s take a look, shall we?

This is statue one, a copy of David in the original location in front of the Palazzo Vecchio, in Florence.

Hello! Yeah, this guy’s obviously gay and quite smokin’, but he’s such a big star, we’re not sure he would give us the time of day. Do we sense a little backlash here? OMG have we been “Davided” to death?

Let’s check out the second David:

The “chaser” entry! Seriously, we’ve always liked our men with a few extra pounds, so let’s make it official: the big guy is also smokin’. (Oh, and it kind of looks like these two would make a good couple!)

Thanks for your submissions, Mike and Jeff! (And we apologize if readers have seen Jeff’s entry already, but it was new to us!) It’s always good to be reminded that smokin’ hotness is clearly in the eye of the beholder. Which is why we’re expecting a lot more statues to come in from around the country! Chicago? San Francisco? Boston? There’s still plenty of time and we would hate to see you shut out of such an important indicator of community spirit! Obviously, hot gay statuary comes in many shapes and sizes. (Woof.)

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup: