Archive for the ‘Longing’ Category
In which The Gay Recluse rebrands and retires. In the effort to be less ‘gay’ and less ‘reclusive,’ I’m ‘rebranding’ with a new blog written by ‘Matthew Gallaway’, which not coincidentally is the name I’ve used for my novel The Metropolis Case, which will most likely publish at some point in 2k10. I hope you’ll […]
Filed under: Conspiracy, Dissonance, Landscape, Longing, The Gay Recluse | 4 Comments
Tags: Matthew Gallaway, Rebranding, The Metropolis Case
In which The Gay Recluse is increasingly obsessed with spring. The garden at the end of winter is not exactly a joy to behold: branches are bent or broken, evergreens are pale, and even the ground — littered with dead leaves and twigs — seems inhospitable. But a closer examination reveals signs of life: the […]
Filed under: Longing, Photography, Resignation, The Spring Garden, The Winter Garden | 1 Comment
Tags: Climbing Hydrangea, Sycamore Maple (Acer pseudoplatanus "Eskimo Sunset"), Tree Peony
In which The Gay Recluse becomes increasingly obsessed with birch trees. I first met Leanne in the fall of tenth grade in the Kingswood dining hall. This was my first year of boarding school and — residual fear from public school — I was still petrified at the thought of eating alone; I don’t remember […]
Filed under: Architecture, Brooklyn, Dream, Gay, Longing, Memory, Ruins, Search | 2 Comments
Tags: Art Openings, Bloomfield Hills, Boarding School, Cornell, Cranbrook Kingswood, Detroit, Flannel Shirts, Swimmer's Hair
On “Whatever Homo Tendencies I Have Are Basically a Minor Health Problem” (Valentine’s Day 2k8)
In which The Gay Recluse revisits the past, both distant and not-so-distant. As many of you may or may not know, last year we wrote an essay that was published by Gawker on Valentine’s Day as part of a “Gay Modern Love” contest sponsored by Sheila (miss u!) and inspired in part by our rants […]
Filed under: Competitions, Dream, Gay, Health, History, Longing, Memory, Nostalgia, Obsession, Pleasure, Search | 2 Comments
Tags: 2k8, Gawker, Gay Modern Love, Sheila, Valentine's Day
On a Valentine’s Day Tower
In which The Gay Recluse remembers subtle forms of fourth-grade terror. It’s not hard to remember a phase we went through in elementary school, specifically fourth and fifth grade (and possibly sixth, although even now it pains us to think about this) when each Valentine’s Day, we took it upon ourselves to make increasingly elaborate […]
Filed under: Architecture, Dissonance, Drag Queens, Dream, Faith, Gay, Health, Longing, Memory, Pessimism, Ruins | 1 Comment
Tags: Elementary School, Ghey, Terror, Towers, Valentine's Day
On the Search for Spring
In which The Gay Recluse dreams about the garden. When the February blues hit — and considering this winter, how could they not? — we like to immerse ourselves into dreams of spring, which entails many hours in the seed and plant catalogs. Though our garden is dominated by perennials, bushes and trees designed to […]
Filed under: Dream, Faith, Longing, New York City, The Spring Garden, The Summer Garden, Weather | Leave a Comment
Tags: Annuals, Flowering Tobacco, Perennials, Salvia, Sunfower, Zinnia
On the Search for Relevance
In which The Gay Recluse questions his brand. When we started blogging, we didn’t really know anything about the internet, much less “bloggable memes.” Until then, like most people in our demographic, we had spent our time on nytimes.com and our “Yahoo home page.” But we quickly discovered internet traffic, and modified the blog to […]
Filed under: Addiction, Dissonance, Gay, Gentrification, Infrastructure, Longing, Search, Traffic | 4 Comments
Tags: Bloggable Memes, David Beckham, Google Ads, Identity Crisis, The Guy Recluse
On Nowhere
In which The Gay Recluse remembers Ride. The opening chords of “Vapour Trail” are high and open, yet filled with same (phase-shifted) melancholy we associate with ringing church bells. To hear this the other day, as we plodded through our thirty minutes on the elliptical at the gym, was to be swept away with a sense of forgotten potential — […]
Filed under: Bad Rock, Capitalism, Conspiracy, Decay, Good Rock, Longing, Memory, New York City, Obsession, Resignation | 3 Comments
Tags: Beth, CBGBs, Kiss, My Bloody Valentine, Nowhere, Ride, Shoegazer Rock, Vapour Trail
In which The Gay Recluse looks out windows. Eventually we reached an age when we could no longer think about the larger world except with terror; it was too complicated and cruel, and every time we tried to engage it we returned defeated and misunderstood. Our own trajectory, combined with an examination of world history […]
Filed under: Faith, History, Literature, Longing, Memory, Philosophers | Leave a Comment
Tags: Candle Holders, Schopenhauer, Sky
In which The Gay Recluse makes a teevee show for the internets.* In Part 3, Chaos Detective Lasalle follows “the Russian” onto a train headed for Munich. YouTube Clip below (click through to watch in high-res, or go to our FaceBook page!) THE CHAOS DETECTIVE Episode 1: City of Dreams (Part 1) Episode 1: City of Dreams (Part 2) *Sigh…if […]
Filed under: Architecture, Conspiracy, Dream, Gay, Longing, Memory, Search, Technology, The Chaos Detective, Travel | 1 Comment
Tags: Detective, Munich, Mysteries, Noir, Trains, Travelogs, Vienna
In which The Gay Recluse produces a teevee series on the internets. The Chaos Detective: City of Dreams (Part 2) In this episode, Chaos Detective Lasalle arrives in Vienna and embarks on his first assignment. [Note: if you click thru to YouTube, be sure to watch in “high-quality”: otherwise it’s kinda blurry/fuzzy!] THE CHAOS DETECTIVE […]
Filed under: Conspiracy, Dissonance, Dream, Infrastructure, Landscape, Longing, Ruins, Search, The Chaos Detective, Travel | 2 Comments
Tags: Cafe Central, Sachertorte, St. Stephen's Cathedral, Vienna
In which The Gay Recluse becomes increasingly obsessed with the George Washington Bridge. In Europe, it often happens that we stand in front of an ornate building and think: “whoas, that would be a lot of work!” but we can still basically imagine how it was done, even if it took centuries. It’s like one […]
Filed under: Architecture, Conspiracy, Dissonance, GWB Project, Infrastructure, Longing, Memory, Technology | 4 Comments
Tags: Full Moon, Night, The George Washington Bridge, Winter
In which The Gay Recluse regrets not seeing Waltraud Meier’s Isolde. Before Friday night’s show at the Met, both the lead Isolde and her cover were sick and had to cancel. This sometimes happens! At the last minute, the Met was able to track down Waltraud Meier, who agreed to fly in from Munich for […]
Filed under: Longing, New York City, Opera | 5 Comments
Tags: Alchemy, Isolde, Jet Lag, Marathons, Waltraud Meier
In which The Gay Recluse fails to deliver the sun. Yesterday it rained so hard that we felt sure today would arrive bright and sunny, as so often happens in New York City, where weather really doesn’t tend to linger the way it does in say, Pittsburgh or Ithaca. We had visitors in from out […]
Filed under: Architecture, Capitalism, Conspiracy, Longing, Memory, New York City, Weather | Leave a Comment
Tags: Cold, Fog, Ithaca, Pittsburgh, Promises, Rain, Sun
On Senso
In which The Gay Recluse loves Luchino Visconti. After scouring the globe, we were finally able to obtain — from South Korea! — a copy of Senso, Luchino Visconti’s 1954 film about the Austrian occupation of Venice during the war for Italian independence. In what is arguably the most operatic of Visconti’s films, we follow a […]
Filed under: Dissonance, Film, Gay, Longing, Obsession, Pessimism, Resignation, Ruins, Writers-German | Leave a Comment
Tags: Communism, Gay Film Directors, Luchino Visconti, Senso, Walter Benjamin
In which The Gay Recluse becomes increasingly obsessed with birds. Today we left work and had to walk crosstown in the drizzle. It was completely dark and we didn’t have an umbrella. Plus we were running late, and had overdressed; we regretted that it wasn’t snowing, as it would have been before global warming. But […]
Filed under: Animals, GWB Project, Longing, New York City, Pessimism, Weather | Leave a Comment
Tags: Cities, Gotham, Rain, Rush Hour, Sand, Time, Walks
In which The Gay Recluse remembers an old obsession with the color red. Years ago, we went through a phase when we wore only red shirts. But here’s the thing: you couldn’t find any good ones that were new, so we were required to scour used-clothing shops all over the country in a mostly vain […]
Filed under: Architecture, Gay, Health, Longing, Memory, New York City, Obsession, Ruins, Washington Heights | 1 Comment
Tags: Art Nouveau, Doorways, Flannel, Red, Seattle, Shirts, Tours, Vintage Clothing Shoes, Wrought Iron
In which The Gay Recluse watches French film. In Robert Bresson’s Pickpocket, the young (and kinda hot, in an aloof, cerebral way) lead is given to wandering the streets of Paris, looking into the eyes of men with whom he has the briefest and most exhilarating (but ultimately soulless) encounters. Surprise: at least superficially, this […]
Filed under: Addiction, Film, Longing, Obsession, Writers-French | 4 Comments
Tags: Dark Ages, Gay Film, Pickpocket, Robert Bresson
The Gay Recluse 