In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.

Frank Rich/Tet Happened, and No One Cared

The Short Version: McCain is a big fucking idiot.

In his words: “The sum total of his public record suggests that he could well prolong the war for another century — not because he’s the crazed militarist portrayed by Democrats, but through sheer inertia, bad judgment and blundering.”

Score: A- (Aggressive)
Classic Rich here, telling it like it is.

Nicholas Kristof/Our Racist, Sexist Selves

The Short Version: Omg! Stereotypes exist, even for me–I’m a racist!!! (How awesome is that?)

In his words: “Yet racism may also be easier to override than sexism.”

The Score: F (Foolish)
Kristof loves nothing more than to perpetuate the stereotypes he pretends to castigate. The reality that we are all impacted by racial and sexist stereotypes is something most third graders could describe more compellingly than Kristof; nor, obviously, do we need to spend $millions “proving” it scientifically. Moreover, to be impacted by stereotypes does not necessarily make one a “racist”; ultimately it boils down to individual attitudes and daily encounters, i.e., the sort of thing that Kristof and his equally idiotic PhD friends will never be able to quantify. (And oh yeah, did anyone else note that Kristof left “homophobic” off the list? Big surprise that is.)

Maureen Dowd/The Vodka Chronicles

The Short Version: Wtf? Why does McCain try to deny that he likes to drink more than a little?

In her words: “If his campaign is bowdlerizing, let’s hope it stops before he’s a bland McNice.”

The Score: C (Cautious)
This column starts off well enough, but quickly meanders into Obama’s cigarette habit and then Bill Clinton hatred (Zzzzzz).