In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.

Gail Collins/McCain Forecloses Early

The Short Version: Democrats need to relax. McCain is truly an idiot!

In her words: “Fortunately for the quivering Democrats, McCain has also felt compelled to speak about the mortgage crisis.”

Score: A (Awesome)
Collins delivers a much needed (and amusing!) perspective in the middle of Obama-Clinton hysteria.

Timothy Egan/Disorder on the Border

The Short Version: Arizona is so fucking great!!!

In his words: “Arizona may produce the next president, in John McCain, or the next vice president, in Janet Napolitano, the Democratic governor.”

The Score: D- (Dumb)
Egan examines the reality of immigration policy in Arizona and wants readers to be impressed with his observation that the reality doesn’t conform with either asshole Republican (“build the wall!”) or liberal Democrat (“open the borders”) ideologies. His point is that _____.