In which The Gay Recluse goes to a new restaurant (twice) and is totally psyched.

For all of you doubters in doubterville, take note: there’s a new restaurant on 166th Street between Broadway and Saint Nicholas, right around the corner from Dallas BBQ. And get this: it’s vegetastic! We’ve eaten there twice already this weekend alone and would probably go tomorrow except it’s closed on Sundays. (Or at least it was last weekend; they might be open now.)

“All of our food is naturally delicious!” is the claim on the menu, and — incredibly enough — it’s true! What’s mindblowing is that you go in and look at the offerings and — even though it says “vegetarian” everywhere, you’re pretty much like: “Is that meat? Is that meat? Are you sure that’s not meat?” while the girls behind the counter patiently explain that no, it’s all vegetarian, it just looks like meat. Whatever, we’ve never been hung up on the concept that vegetarian fare has to taste and feel exactly (or anything) like meat, but — and don’t ask us how they do it: the drumsticks even have “fried skin” — this place is definitely safe for those sorts of narrow-minded blowhards who inevitably cross our paths to make life miserable. Our suggestion: enjoy the food for what it is, and you’ll be happy.

They offer everything cafeteria style — breakfast, lunch, dinner, smoothies, wraps, “burgers,” soups — which you can eat there or take out. The food — have we mentioned that it’s all vegetarian? — is done with a Caribbean theme, which as far as we can tell is like a spicier version of many soul-food standards with a bit of rice-and-beans thrown in. (Give us a break: we’re not food critics!) The owners — Dave and Morton — are from Guyana and Trinidad, which should tell you what you need to know.

So far we’ve had the small dinner plate, which means you pick four sides for $8. The “plate” is essentially a standard Chinese take-out container — the dish, not the rice — just to give you a sense of how much food you’re getting. Let’s just say: good deal. Yesterday we had curried/fried “drumsticks”; “beef” and carrots; pumpkin something or other; and rice and beans. Today we had barbecue drumsticks; collard greens; rice and beans; and fried bake, which is the Trinidad version of a pita. Everything was in fact naturally delicious and — unlike nasty Chinese takeout, which costs the same or more — doesn’t leave you feeling bloated, greasy or hungover. (Obviously, you never have to imagine animals being factory farmed and slaughtered at Heights Vegetarian.) Owner Dave also assured us that the smoothies and juices are 100 percent natural and awesome, and we’re looking forward to checking those out.

Heights Vegetarian (212-927-0908; yes, they deliver) is located at 1121 Saint Nicholas Avenue.

Vegetarian in Washington Heights? Fuck yes!

Whoa. The inside. (Nicely done, Heights Vegetarian!)

Drum sticks, rice and beans, collard greens, fried bake: Only $8.00!? Fuck yes! (PS. That’s what it looked like on our dinner plate at home, and our plates are not small.)