On The Times’ Confirmation that Gays Really Do Exist in Iran, Albeit Quietly


Thank you, New York Times, thank you! In your recently published article, “Despite Denials, Gays Insist They Exist, if Quietly, in Iran,” you have finally proved just how wrong President Ahmadinejad was when he claimed that his country contained not even a single gay recluse! Before we read this brilliant piece of investigative journalism, we were actually beginning to think that — unlike every other corner of the world — Iran might be an exception to the rule, that among its millions of inhabitants you would be hard pressed to find even two men (or two women) slinking off for a night of illicit pleasure. But no, you have introduced us to “Reza,” a man you felt compelled to tell us “lean[ed]back in his black leather desk chair” and who “shaves his head and often wears an earring in his left ear” (the emphasis, we confess, is ours). Ahh yes, thanks to your exquisitely rendered detail and deep insight, we have learned so much about how the Islamic world really operates; seemingly it is a place — not unlike the (Republican) halls of the United States Congress — where nobody in a position of power (or their supporters) has ever been known to act out on the maddening urge we know lies just beneath the surface of their heart.

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