On the 2007 Search of the Year Awards


In our daily travels, we are regularly confronted by some of our more clever but literal-minded critics with the question of why we would ever want to publish our thoughts and observations, if in fact it is our unending desire to be reclusive, or to obtain — in our own lexicon — a “community-free” existence. Then, after we offer a justification for the endeavor — namely, to promote our longstanding interest in the tiniest forms of perennial groundcovers — the discussion inevitably turns to the more practical question of how one goes about finding a gay recluse. With a thought to answer this question, we now present our 2007 Search of the Year Awards, which reflect some of our favorite (and least favorite) routes taken by readers to “click-through” to the pages of The Gay Recluse.

Most Obviously Gratifying Search: “the gay recluse” or “gay recluse” or “he gay recluse” or “gay rclse”

We wonder, are you looking for us specifically, or do you reflect a groundswell of interest in an aesthetic way of life encapsulated by the words “gay” and “recluse.” (Which, by the way, we wholeheartedly embrace.) Now that we are using Site Meter to monitor our traffic, we have noted the growing number of you who “visit” from the largest swaths of desert in the world, including the Sahara, the Arabian and the Gobi, which leads us to believe that you have fled civilization, an impulse we can understand if not endorse. (NB: A true gay recluse can be found only in the metropolis.)

Most Disturbing Search: “gay men gangraping little boys”

We shiver to picture whoever typed this into his (or her) search engine, and wonder what led you to click through to The Gay Recluse. In any case, we are certain that you were disappointed with what you found, and we are not sorry for that.

Most Sweetly Pathetic Search: “things to do on christmas eve as a gay man”

We who long for a life of resignation and reclusion never lack for things to do — so long as we are within reach of our library — but we were touched that in your search, you were intrigued enough to immerse yourself for just a few seconds into the ethos of The Gay Recluse. We would love to hear what you actually ended up doing on Christmas Eve, and if your search was influential in the decision process. (As we do every year, we stayed home with the cats.)

Most Guilt-Invoking Search: “recluse ‘Shut in’ forum”

For what it’s worth — and admittedly, probably not much — we would like to go on record to say that it is not our intention to mislead any of you who are in fact agoraphobic, which we — with jobs and subway commutes and other terrorizing responsibilities — are not in a position to truly understand. We hope that you were not misled by our appearance in your search results.

Most Redemptive Search: “Corsican mint”

Each day it seems that more and more of you arrive at The Gay Recluse by way of a search for “corsican mint,” and given our underlying mission — namely, to promote our longstanding interest in the tiniest forms of perennial groundcovers — we will always consider this, our second-page search rank on Google for this term, to be one of our greatest accomplishments. For this we award you — the term “corsican mint” — The Gay Recluse 2007 Award for Search of the Year.

Corsican Mint

(Although not completely on point, given that this award is for the search term as opposed to the ‘object-in-itself,’ we would like to report that despite our fears with regard to its Zone 7 hardiness, the Corsican mint in our garden appears to be thriving, even after being assaulted by not insignificant amounts of ice and snow this December. Naturally, we will keep you posted on its progress.)

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