In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Frank Rich/Party Like It’s 2008
The Short Version: Friends, thank you! I, Frank Rich, have won the Democratic primary!
In his words: “This is not 2004, when another Democrat from Massachusetts did for windsurfing what the previous model did for tanks.”
Score: B- (Blather)
Given that we endorsed Obama [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Bob Herbert/Seeds of Destruction
The Short Version: Hillary’s message about “electability” and “white voters” is racist.
In his words: “The Clintons have been trying to embed that gruesomely destructive message in the brains of white voters and superdelegates for the longest time. ”
Score: B (Bitter)
Herbert’s right on [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Thinking About November
The Short Version: Obama’s probably going to blow it because whites don’t like him!  
In his words: “In recent decades, Democrats have had little trouble unifying after hard-fought primary campaigns. ”
Score: F (Failure)
This is a depressingly cynical (but untruthful) column that implies that Clinton should have won [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Gail Collins/The Torch en Route
The Short Version: Hillary wants to run. So what?  
In his words: “South Dakota wants its turn. It wants to have Chelsea visit its community colleges and refuse to answer questions about Monica Lewinsky. ”
Score: A- (Amusing)
Collins continues to strike the perfect balance between [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Thomas Friedman/The Democratic Recession
The Short Version: Thanks, oil! You’ve caused democratic government to wane around the world.  
In his words: “I’ve long argued that the price of oil and the pace of freedom operate in an inverse correlation — which I call: “The First Law of [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
David Brooks/Combat and Composure
The Short Version: Hillary is a monster!
In his words: “But, as Sunday’s contrast made clear, Obama still seems like a human being.”
Score: B (Basic)
We’ve also been put off by Clinton’s completely over-the-top (and hilarious) attempts to distance herself from “the elitist,” but we’d [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Success Breeds Failure
The Short Version: Don’t get too excited about the financial markets.
In his words: “[T]he next crisis will probably be worse than this one.”
Score: B- (Been there)
Krugman describes an entrenched cycle of boom/bust/haphazard regulation in the financial markets that is oddly reflected his column, [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores OMG four wtf!? selected opinions in The Times.
Franck Rich/The All-White Elephant in the Room
The Short Version: The Maverick’s preacher is just as crazy as Obama’s!
In his words: “But he did say that God created Hurricane Katrina to punish New Orleans for its sins, particularly a scheduled ‘homosexual parade there [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Bob Herbert/Overkill and Short Shrift
The Short Version: Why can’t we get a grip?
In his words: “The challenge for the working press right now is to see if we can force ourselves past the overwhelming temptations of Wright and race and focus in a sustained way [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Party of Denial
The Short Version: I still love Hillary even if she supports that stupid gas-tax holiday.
In his words: “But if the Democrats really want to pin the denialist label on John McCain, health care is the place to focus.”
Score: D+ (Desultory)
Krugman delivers a very [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Gail Collins/How Will It Play in Apex?
The Short Version: It’s hard to say who’s worse: Blabbermouth Bill or The Reverend Wright.
In her words: “On the other hand, young voters who have yet to have their hearts broken by a politician find it wicked (sic?) depressing.”
Score: A (Applause)
We like [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Thomas Friedman/Dumb as We Wanna Be
The Short Version: We need higher gas taxes and more $$$$ devoted to clean-energy R&D!
In his words: “At a time when we should be throwing everything into clean power innovation, we are squabbling over pennies.”
Score: A (Applause)
We completely agree with this column.  Hillary Clinton should [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Bob Herbert/The Pastor Casts a Shadow
The Short Version: Oh nos! The Reverend is going to wreck everything!
In his words: “Faster than anyone could have imagined, the young Mr. Obama became Senator Obama and then the leading candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination.”
Score: B- (Bit much)
This column unfortunately [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Bush Made Permanent
The Short Version: The Maverick is a Loser!
In his words: “Mr. McCain proposes making almost all of the Bush tax cuts, which are currently scheduled to expire at the end of 2010, permanent.”
Score: B- (Basic)
We already know that the Maverick is not [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Frank Rich/How McCain Lost in Pennsylvania
The Short Version: We’ll see who’s laughing in November!
In his words: “On the way to the finish line, the prolonged primary race, far from destroying the Democratic candidates, may do more insidious damage to the Republican nominee, lulling his [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Gail Collins/McCain’s Compassion Tour
The Short Version: The Maverick is a major asshole.
In her words: “[H]is reaction does suggest that on his list of presidential priorities, the problems of working women come in somewhere behind the rising price of after-dinner mints.”
Score: A (Awesome)
Gail Collins [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selection opinion pieces in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Self-Inflicted Confusion
The Short Version: Friends! I told you Hillary was the best, and because you ignored me and got wrapped up in the Obullshit message of “change,” you shall now suffer accordingly.
In his words: “The attacks from the Clinton campaign have been badminton compared with the [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Gail Collins/Hillary’s Smackdown
The Short Version: Don’t panic, it’ll be ok.
In her words: “If you want to worry about something, worry about the way both of them have been pandering themselves over the edge.”
Score: B (Benign)
Although we don’t want to be reading about Obama and [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Maureen Dowd/Wilting Over Waffles
The Short Version: Hillary is a monster!
In her words: “Despite all his incandescent gifts, Obama has missed several opportunities to smash the ball over the net and end the game.”
Score: D+ (Deadly)
Wake us up when the primaries are over.    
 

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Bob Herbert/Clueless in America
The Short Version: Kids are stupid.
In his words: “While we’re effectively standing in place, other nations are catching up and passing us when it comes to educational achievement.”
Score: F (Forgettable)
If you’re in the mood to be scolded on account of how shitty [...]