Comments on: On Vexed

By: AIDS, Masculinity and the Representation of the (Gay) Body Part III: A Conversation with Jack Mackenroth « Jack Mackenroth

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 14:23:04 +0000

[...] However, this body type still troubles me both on the level of representation and everyday life because there are plenty of gay men who don’t express the insight that Mackenroth does about it nor do they display proudly his duality of body and personality. For me, this body paradigm does indeed have traces of homophobia and misogyny in its uncritical display of an ultra masculinity. Also, there is a sense that such a body is mandatory within gay culture. Mackenroth himself stated that in going to the Roxy nightclub in New York City in the 90’s, one needed this corporeal accessory or one was invisible to the other patrons. When I first moved to New York City in the early 90’s at the age of 22, I went to the Roxy once and indeed felt invisible and alienated. I learned though that there were other venues where my desire could flourish like the extraordinary club SqueezeBox where the other’s other reigned. And I realized that I wasn’t exactly gay, but queer and vext. [...]

By: Oh Sweet Nothing

Oh Sweet Nothing — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:20:41 +0000

I don’t think that any of them function very well. It’s kind of an impossible battle because of our minority status; that is, the word ‘heterosexual’ or ‘straight’ can’t really have negative connotations or any strong connotations at all because it applies to such a large group of people. That fact that we are in the minority means that we are subject to generalizations. People tend to operate largely on their own experiences, which while normal behavior, often leads to “well every gay person I’ve met is…”. To compound the problem, there is the confirmation bias which makes it so that many will (often unknowingly) ignore examples counter to their beliefs.

So until there are many different examples of the different types of non-heterosexuals, I think these problems will persist. I’d hope that eventually it becomes more of a “most are just like you and me” situation, but currently there are many barriers. Religiosity in particular.

By: The Gay Recluse

The Gay Recluse — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:52:00 +0000

Thanks for the comment, Lukas. I understand your point, and I think I was mostly writing as a philosophical exercise, rather than with a serious intention of coining a new phrase. In subsequent conversations, I’ve come to see the term as almost applying to anyone who doesn’t identify with the stereotypical attributes of their “identity,” if that makes sense, e.g., my Vietnamese (str8 female) friend doesn’t like “Asian” and was calling herself “vext,” which I also thought was kind of cool. But yes, I too love the poetic notion of being “tossed about, as waves,” which so nicely encapsulates so much of life!

By: Lukas

Lukas — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:20:03 +0000

Sometimes I feel like the constant finessing of terms holds things up rather than pushes the envelope forward. I mean, of the non-gays/non-queers/un-vext (non-vext? de-vext?) who have good social skills and/or who consider themselves to be progressive, in this historical moment, they will call us what we want to be called. But–and what comes to mind is the term ‘feminism,’ which to me is one of the most divisive terms for something that is supposed to signify something so broad and well-intentioned and–WHY would any woman not call herself a feminist?!?! And yet!–the more we argue over this kind of thing the more alienating it becomes for both gay people and for the non-gay people whose cooperation we want.

However, I love vext. And I love ‘tossed about, as waves,’ which I’m going to take as a compliment, thank you.

By: Deirdre

Deirdre — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:53:13 +0000

i love vexed because it’s tough, but tragic and poetic too, with a hidden softness. the tragic hero/heroine who will fight till the end… in summary – it kicks ass!

By: Kelly Keatng

Kelly Keatng — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:08:57 +0000

Vexed/vext is growing on me. For a while, I did favor queer, but now it seems to belong too much to the historical moment of the early 90″s, just like homosexual belongs to the 19th century. For a time, I favored “bent”, but then you get into that binary problem of bent/straight in which the one term always seems to be privledged over the other. But to be honest, I’ve always felt that I was the other’s other. I don’t quite understand gay men sometimes, particularly perhaps because this level of conversion would perhaps be irrelevant to many of them. In the meantime, I’m going to give vexed/vext a try and see how it fits.

By: orinink

orinink — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 07:38:45 +0000

okay how about dicklover,dick breath ,pinga panda’s,sons of judy,normal?,i do not think it is sex that gives us power,it is our union as a group.As gays we have managed to create a community ,what i fear is that we will become ghettoized in this community,and fail to see the bigger picture,that we are not victims of our sexuality but creators of it,to me the after 5 bar life and chelsea gyms and metropolitan opera’s can be just as dull as the “heterodoxy”.I can see where same sexer can seem a bit dumb,and i dont know enough about gore vidal to dislike him,but what i was getting at is that there is a need for all of us to get on with the act of being healthy contributors to life and we cannot do that if we are so passionate about the” team” we are on that we can not see that we do not live in a bubble.I am not strange or Queer it is so normal to love someone of the same sex that there are animals,who do not live amongst us who do it,so it must be a normalthing and yes same sex is pro-creative it makes peace in the world.

By: bennett

bennett — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:00:44 +0000

ps i automatically reject any term that gore vidal would use. if my main agenda was making jackie o love me i might take him more seriously.

By: bennett

bennett — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:46:31 +0000

what colin said! i think it is a generational thing cause when i was growing up I never heard queer being used as a pejorative, at least by my peers. Really my main childhood association with the word is the Something Queer books for young people, about these fun girls who solve mysteries with their basset hound. If anyone wanted to call me a fag they called me… a fag. Maybe in 10 years Fag Studies will be the new thing in academia and I’ll know how you feel.

I like queer because it feels inclusive and sort of rejects assimilation in a fun and general way.

I do think VEXED is funny but maybe it applies more to recluses?

By: The Gay Recluse

The Gay Recluse — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:24:05 +0000

Thanks for the comment, Robert — I agree with you that the dynamics have not changed, but I simply wanted to challenge the language describing that dynamic, because I have never felt embraced by the queer (or any other) ‘community.’ But as I’ve said to others who were less than pleased with this post, I only raise this from my own completely subjective (and probably selfish/egocentric/artistic/philosophical) viewpoint and have no desire to impose it on anyone or ‘start a movement’ and am happy to (respectfully) use the terms queer and gay in a political/social context when it often matters most.