In which The Gay Recluse tries to convey some semblance of the truth, as opposed to this obituary, written by Michael Kimmelman, one of the most notoriously oblivious critics at The Times.
By MICHAEL KIMMELMAN and THE GAY RECLUSE
Published: May 14, 2008

Robert Rauschenberg, the irrepressibly prolific American gay artist and rather typically homophobic queen who time and again [...]

In which Dante invents a new twist on an old game.
Friends! Rest assured that somewhere in this picture can be found an editorial assistant, albeit one who is very carefully camouflaged.

Have you looked long enough? Do your eyes feel strained and fatigued? Don’t worry, below you’ll find what you’ve been looking for.

Friends! Please remember that [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Bob Herbert/Here Come the Millennials
The Short Version: The youngs are seriously fucked, which is why they should vote for Obama.
In his words: “This is a generation that is in danger of being left out of the American dream — the first American generation to do [...]

In which The Gay Recluse becomes increasingly obsessed with trees.

We were waiting a long time for the copper beech (Fagus sylvatica “Dawyck Purple”) to open this spring.

We had only planted it last year so didn’t know what to expect.

We were worried when everything else was in bloom and the beech showed no signs of life. [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
William Kristol/The Jewish State at 60
The Short Version: Happy Birthday, Israel. You are surrounded by crazies.
In his words: “Still, even though the security of Israel is very much at risk, the good news is that, unlike in the 1930s, the Jews are able to defend [...]

In which The Gay Recluse provides an update on a beehive of activity at 573-579 West 161st Street.
So it’s official, if “official” means by way of an unnamed receptionist at the architects’s office: 573-575 West 161st Street is going to be a 6-story condominium. We’re trying to scrounge up a rendering, but in the meantime, [...]

In which The Gay Recluse rather quickly gets lung cancer.
Time of Photographs: May 10, around 8:30.

The oily black smoke of 100-year-old boilers disperses daily across the rooftops in Washington Heights, heedless of those who suffer from pneumonia, asthma and tuberculosis. Officials and politicians? Not even footnotes in this story, which is about the aggregation of [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Frank Rich/Party Like It’s 2008
The Short Version: Friends, thank you! I, Frank Rich, have won the Democratic primary!
In his words: “This is not 2004, when another Democrat from Massachusetts did for windsurfing what the previous model did for tanks.”
Score: B- (Blather)
Given that we endorsed Obama [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Bob Herbert/Seeds of Destruction
The Short Version: Hillary’s message about “electability” and “white voters” is racist.
In his words: “The Clintons have been trying to embed that gruesomely destructive message in the brains of white voters and superdelegates for the longest time. ”
Score: B (Bitter)
Herbert’s right on [...]

In which The Gay Recluse updates his informal but rather telling quantitative analysis of Modern Love, the weekly Style Section (of The Times) column in which openly gay writers almost never appear, and even less frequently describe a romantic relationship.
This week’s piece: A Wedding Invitation for a Mom Long Gone by Julie Buxbaum
Subject: As a [...]

In which The Gay Recluse presents a gay/impressionistic alternative to this week’s Modern Love offering in The Times. Those looking for our quantitative analysis should click here.
By JULIE BUXBAUM and THE GAY RECLUSE
Published: May 11, 2008

SEVEN months ago, I was married in an ivory lace dress to a woman in a gray suit on [...]

In which The Gay Recluse asks a reader to think more conceptually.
In response to our recent Franco Harris Hot Gay Statue submission, Reader Queerunity writes:
all football players wear spandex, why is this gay?
We’re posting this comment — and thanks for bringing this up, Queerunity — because we think it raises an interesting point about the [...]

In which The Gay Recluse holds a contest. Sort of.
Today we received an interesting submission from Reader Troy, who writes to us from Pittsburgh:
I have an important question for The Gay Recluse. In the Pittsburgh airport there is a statue of Franco Harris, who I have no reason to believe is gay. Yet the statue [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Thinking About November
The Short Version: Obama’s probably going to blow it because whites don’t like him!  
In his words: “In recent decades, Democrats have had little trouble unifying after hard-fought primary campaigns. ”
Score: F (Failure)
This is a depressingly cynical (but untruthful) column that implies that Clinton should have won [...]

In which The Gay Recluse suggests a link.
The most beautiful ads are always for dead companies.

Like this one we recently took on 35th Street between 5th and 6th Avenue.

Does this company still exist? We hope not, because we don’t want to have to think about buying anything.

New York City is filled with ads for dead [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Gail Collins/The Torch en Route
The Short Version: Hillary wants to run. So what?  
In his words: “South Dakota wants its turn. It wants to have Chelsea visit its community colleges and refuse to answer questions about Monica Lewinsky. ”
Score: A- (Amusing)
Collins continues to strike the perfect balance between [...]

In which The Gay Recluse documents the sunset of a dream.

Today the tide seemed to finally turn against Hillary Clinton.

We felt bad about it, but mostly on behalf of our mother. She’s in her seventies now and really wanted Hillary to win.

She’s spent the better part of four decades fighting for women’s “equality.” As people [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Thomas Friedman/The Democratic Recession
The Short Version: Thanks, oil! You’ve caused democratic government to wane around the world.  
In his words: “I’ve long argued that the price of oil and the pace of freedom operate in an inverse correlation — which I call: “The First Law of [...]

In which The Gay Recluse takes a trip to the suburbs.
Last weekend we went flower shopping and on the way back stopped into a brand new Home Depot that was recently built somewhere in Westchester, which is this large land mass north of New York City; sometimes desolate and sometimes beautiful, it is criss-crossed with [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
David Brooks/Combat and Composure
The Short Version: Hillary is a monster!
In his words: “But, as Sunday’s contrast made clear, Obama still seems like a human being.”
Score: B (Basic)
We’ve also been put off by Clinton’s completely over-the-top (and hilarious) attempts to distance herself from “the elitist,” but we’d [...]