In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.

Frank Rich/How McCain Lost in Pennsylvania

The Short Version: We’ll see who’s laughing in November!

In his words: “On the way to the finish line, the prolonged primary race, far from destroying the Democratic candidates, may do more insidious damage to the Republican nominee, lulling his campaign into an unjustified complacency.”

Score: B (Basic)
The column isn’t one to send to your friends, but it does represent a welcome return to logic for Frank Rich, who just last week (or was it two?) was ranting about the Democrats ruining their chances by not playing nice. If only Rich had been following The Gay Recluse, he could have written this column six or eight weeks ago and spared us a lot of drama and grief!

Nicholas Kristof/Odd Couple of the Jungle

The Short Version: The rain forest may be disappearing, but this eco-lodge in Eduador will cheer you up!

In his words: “So he invited the boy to move to the lodge and work and study.”

The Score: D (Dopey)
The Times, which we hear is about to impose some pretty severe layoffs in the beloved City Section, could save some $$$$ if it didn’t pay Nicholas Kristof to travel around the world bringing us his saccharine “up-close-and-personal” columns. This is nothing against the people he writes about of course — much less the larger issues of deforestation and global warming — but we don’t need these idiotic and stereotypical fluff pieces to understand why U.S. policy needs to change. Oh and we’re so impressed that Kristof “traveled through the jungle for nearly three hours to Yachana”! That’s like the daily subway commute for most New Yorkers, not that Kristof would know much about that! (One last thing: did anyone else think these guys might be gay? Now that would be an interesting story.)

Maureen Dowd/Desperately Seeking Street Cred

The Short Version: Why can’t Barack be a Man?

In her words: “The Nixonian Hillary has a ravenous hunger that Obama lacks.”

The Score: D (Done)
Dowd has already written this column fifty times, so we weren’t exactly happy to see it again.