In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.

Gail Collins/Battle of the Baggage

The Short Version: We’re all very tired.

In her words: “I know it’s been a hard couple of weeks, people. You were all excited about this election and now you feel like someone who got all dressed up for a great event and wound up at a B-list party with a cash bar.”

Score: A- (Anomie)
Collins captures the fatigue we all feel watching the Democratic primaries without letting too much of it creep into her prose.

Nicholas Kristof/Divided They Fall

The Short Version: Children! Let me explain why you might vote for McCain after watching your Democratic candidate go down in flames.

In his words: “To understand your feelings about Wednesday night’s debate, consider the Dartmouth-Princeton football game in 1951. ”

The Score: D- (Deadly)
Anyone who votes for McCain because of the Obama-Clinton battle is an idiot and we don’t need Daddy to tell us why.

Roger Cohen/Race and American Memory

The Short Version: Why doesn’t the U.S. solve its race problems with a major museum dedicated to African-American history and culture! Oh wait, it’s on the way!

In his words: “The decision, approved by Congress in 2003, to build the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture, to open in 2015, reflects a desire to plug this hole in the nation’s memory.”

The Score: D- (Dopey)
With his usual mix of barfy idealism and catalog prose, Cohen reminds us what it’s like to live in his world, where museums still matter.