In which The Gay Recluse says goodbye to the cruelest month.

Our hands were shaking a little bit, here. (It’s been a tough few weeks, hasn’t it?)

In which The Gay Recluse reports on monthly traffic whoring metrix to the Board of Directors.
I. Summary
After a record month of whoring in March, we experienced a slight dip in April. But! It was still our second best month on record.
II. Traffic Whoring Metrix
WordPress
Total Views March: 13,957
Grand Total Number of Views: 48,973
Monthly Breakdown

[...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Thomas Friedman/Dumb as We Wanna Be
The Short Version: We need higher gas taxes and more $$$$ devoted to clean-energy R&D!
In his words: “At a time when we should be throwing everything into clean power innovation, we are squabbling over pennies.”
Score: A (Applause)
We completely agree with this column.  Hillary Clinton should [...]

In which The Gay Recluse sees you on the dark side of the moon.
We’d like to put forth the case that the most random graffiti can be found uptown.
Exhibit A: Spotted on the southbound platform of the 163rd Street subway station:

The cock is stupid, but we have to admit that the Roger Waters part made [...]

In which The Gay Recluse lives in an alternate reality.
For a long time we’ve kept an eye on the triple vacant lot at 573-577 West 161st Street, which we walk by  every day on our way to the 163rd Street subway station. In January, we were pleasantly surprised to see two of the three lots [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Bob Herbert/The Pastor Casts a Shadow
The Short Version: Oh nos! The Reverend is going to wreck everything!
In his words: “Faster than anyone could have imagined, the young Mr. Obama became Senator Obama and then the leading candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination.”
Score: B- (Bit much)
This column unfortunately [...]

In which The Gay Recluse retires to our garden in Washington Heights.
Date of photograph: April 28, 2008, around 6:30pm

It’s hardly a secret that sometimes the spring garden looks better in the rain.

Today was one of those days…

One of our favorite plants is the creeping yellow groundcover, which we bought a few years ago at [...]

In which The Gay Recluse invites readers to get drunk enjoy art in person.
Reader John Anthony Frederick sent us the following flier today for his photo exhibition in Albany:

To all of our readers in Albany: Hey, we think you should go! The tree photos look extremely cool: distant, distorted and contemplative. (Why not buy one!) [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinions in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Bush Made Permanent
The Short Version: The Maverick is a Loser!
In his words: “Mr. McCain proposes making almost all of the Bush tax cuts, which are currently scheduled to expire at the end of 2010, permanent.”
Score: B- (Basic)
We already know that the Maverick is not [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Frank Rich/How McCain Lost in Pennsylvania
The Short Version: We’ll see who’s laughing in November!
In his words: “On the way to the finish line, the prolonged primary race, far from destroying the Democratic candidates, may do more insidious damage to the Republican nominee, lulling his [...]

In which The Gay Recluse leaves New York.

Last month we went to Pittsburgh for a few days.

Even though we “grew up” there, it was almost like visiting a new (as in unfamiliar) city.

We always lived in the suburbs, and almost never went into the city except to see the Penguins!

This time though, we stayed downtown [...]

In which The Gay Recluse holds a contest. Sort of.
Today we received two unofficial entries for the contest, “unofficial” because 1) the first statue is in Europe and we are primarily interested in locating the hottest gay statues in the U.S., and 2) the second statue doesn’t exist except in someone’s photoshopallucination! Yet we still [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Gail Collins/McCain’s Compassion Tour
The Short Version: The Maverick is a major asshole.
In her words: “[H]is reaction does suggest that on his list of presidential priorities, the problems of working women come in somewhere behind the rising price of after-dinner mints.”
Score: A (Awesome)
Gail Collins [...]

In which The Gay Recluse updates his informal but rather telling quantitative analysis of Modern Love, the weekly Style Section (of The Times) column in which openly gay writers almost never appear, and even less frequently describe a romantic relationship.
This week’s piece: Was I on a Date or Baby-Sitting?
Subject: For some reason a “Scary Sadshaw” [...]

In which The Gay Recluse makes fun of the sad straights who appear in this week’s Modern Love offering in The Times. Those looking for our quantitative analysis should click here.
Was I on a Date or Baby-Sitting? OMG! What an Asshole!

By JULIE KLAUSNER and THE GAY RECLUSE

Published: April 27, 2008
So this asshole in a rock [...]

In which The Gay Recluse contemplates an uncommissioned masterpiece from the walls of an uptown subway station.

Consider the old panels on the subway platform wall, and observe the finely wrought precision with which each strip of peeling paint has by the hands of time been distressed in the subtlest shades of gold and silver, all [...]

In which The Gay Recluse scores selection opinion pieces in The Times.
Paul Krugman/Self-Inflicted Confusion
The Short Version: Friends! I told you Hillary was the best, and because you ignored me and got wrapped up in the Obullshit message of “change,” you shall now suffer accordingly.
In his words: “The attacks from the Clinton campaign have been badminton compared with the [...]

In which The Gay Recluse contemplates an old friend.
Date of Picture: April 24, 2008
Location: Our garden in Washington Heights.

Even as a child in Pittsburgh, we loved this table.

All winter it would sit out on the porch as we stared longingly at it.

Every May, when it was finally warm enough (this obviously before global warming), [...]

In which Dante and Zephyr take over The Gay Recluse.

Friends! Laugh all you want, but the truth remains: Not every cat is a lolcat!

In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.
Gail Collins/Hillary’s Smackdown
The Short Version: Don’t panic, it’ll be ok.
In her words: “If you want to worry about something, worry about the way both of them have been pandering themselves over the edge.”
Score: B (Benign)
Although we don’t want to be reading about Obama and [...]