On Hot Gay Statues: George Washington Obviously Gay, But Not Exactly Hot

31Mar08

In which The Gay Recluse holds a contest. Sort of.

Last week our newest correspondent The Blind Architect filed this report:

You may be interested in this statue of George Washington I saw last week in Seattle. No musculature, but he does have a big sword. I have been watching the HBO John Adams series, and George Washington (played by David Morse) is portrayed as a great historical figure, so I am inspired to root for his inclusion in your contest.

Ok, TBA, let’s check it out!

Hmmm. We see what you’re saying about the sword, but this could be a lot gayer, actually.

The Blind Architect followed up with this:

There are some sculptures of George Washington that are hotter than the one from Seattle. Check out the father of our country below. Not exactly a six-pack, but admirable pecs and biceps, wouldn’t you say? And what’s that he’s holding? And OMG…what’s up with all of the swords?

We agree. From the neck down, this George is not only gay, but actually kinda hot! (?) (And how about those feet!) Still, we’re not exactly in love with his face, which gives us the sense that he partied a bit too much for his own good a few decades ago.

We look forward to hearing more from The Blind Architect. In the meantime, we have our own obviously-gay-but-not exactly-hot George to add to the mix, this one from the Pittsburgh International Airport, where we recently had the pleasure of spending a few minutes.

“My name is George Washington. My truth is that I am a gay American.”

We’re proud of him for finally admitting it!

Although it’s safe to say that none of these statues are going to win any awards, we are nonetheless inspired by the growing recognition that the father of our country was clearly gay if not exactly hot. Are we missing any hot Georges out there? And what about Abraham Lincoln, the gayest greatest president of all time? We encourage everyone to keep your eyes open.

The Hot Gay Statue Contest Roundup:

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7 Responses to “On Hot Gay Statues: George Washington Obviously Gay, But Not Exactly Hot”

  1. 1 Sem0l1na

    Just had to figure out on my own today from reading George’s page on Wikipedia that he was gay.

    Ticks me off that never in my entire school career was this stated, when it’s obvious, in a society where everyone is marrying multiple times and having 10 kids, that George is gay.

    Now I’m beginning to wonder about all the other great revolutionary era thinkers – are these just the creative class of the late 1700s?

  2. 2 Lloyd L. Thoms Jr.

    Well, what do you think that George and Lafayette were discussing all night in that tent at Valley Forge, and L a teenager at that, but, of course, from the French court?

  3. 3 Thomas

    The funniest thing is that if you type ANY name of ANY very important historical figure in a search engine and add the word “gay” to it every single one of these people will have gay theories behind them (they’re in the spotlight so people obviously have to make up new stories about them). Also, I would like to remind all fellow readers that George Washington lived in the 18th century NOT the 21st century. In the 18th century clothes (like the ones on the picture above) as well as hair like that was completely normal. Also, the way Washington is portrayed and how he probably acted was actually concidered as proper behavior especially for a general and later the president. General Cornwallis, General Howe, Napoleon, King George III, Duke of Wellington, Admiral Nelson all looked and were portrayed in the same manner which does not make them gay! That is typically how a gentleman would act and look in the 18th century. Now, the two statues presented above portray Washington as the Roman emperor- this is obvious- people did that because he was concidered a great and powerful leadr and a hero. Note that these statues were made AFTER his death, therefore, were not even altered by Washington himself. Many powerful leaders had statues in which they were presented as roman emperors such as Napoleon, King George III, etc. And in fact they most roman or roman-like statues carry BIG SWORDS because that’s what they used in ancient Rome and it represented power! They’re not gonna make him wear a fencing sword!

    • Thanks for the comment Thomas, although I’m curious: exactly what historical figures do you think actually were men who were having sex with men, or did that not exist back then either? (Much the way it doesn’t exist in the Republican party? lol!) Also, you seem to think that being gay is a negative; I happen to think that it’s an asset, even when applied retroactively. But also — and most importantly — you’re completely missing the satirical element of these Hot Gay Statue posts, which sorry to say makes you seem a bit clueless! (Obviously statues can’t be gay or straight, it’s all about the photograph and how we interpret it.)

  4. the statue of washington half naked, was something I was looking for, for a good while.Then I find him under a website stating they had a gay picture of washington(which I was not surprised to find it in such a place).So the reason I was looking for this photo was cause i was watching a David Icke clip which had shown the statue(I wanted the photo for my Myspace).And the clincher to the whole clip is that washington is actually beign portrayed or placed in a stance more persay just as one of the Demonic portraits of the Baphomet.Now thats crazy talk I know but you know what, all I can say is that when I first saw the statue I thought( and im sure all of you thought along the same guidelines )that washington isn’t looking himself compared to as I had grown accustomed to the idea of the General and such and here he is sporting some cloth and skin looking godly.Any ways thought id just comment on that pic.

  5. 6 Thomas

    Thank you for the reply. I apologize if I have ruined the satirical side to this post, however, I took such stand because I believe it is a little ridiculous to name Washington gay because of a bunch of statues. And I say so not because I think that gay is negative (in fact I have completely nothing against it) but because not only would Washington himself want to be called that (let me remind you, people back then weren’t as accepting as we are today) but also because I am a little tired of many people assuming and trying to find pointless evidence to “prove” many historical figures gay (mostly because we as people often like to make controversy around others). I personally don’t find any of the statues and their comments stating their “gay” look funny. If you would really like to see something you consider “gay” statues you should visit Rome and look at the statues there (of which most are naked with strange poses).

    • Thomas, so you’re not enjoying the “hot gay statues”? I’m so sad! But seriously, nobody’s forcing you to partake. (And rest assured, your lack of humor/wit/intelligence “ruins” nothing for me.) That said, would love to see your shots of all the hot gay guys in Rome, though! Just got back from Vienna/Munich/Paris, and it was an Eden of hot gay statues. By the way, why are you “tired” of people speculation about whether such-and-such historical figure was gay? If someone wants to believe that George W or — more relevantly — Abe L was indulging in some M2M, why do you feel that it’s so important set them “straight,” lol? Are you king of the internet? You sound so miserable and oppressive, honestly…But as a conciliatory gesture, I offer you this: http://thegayrecluse.com/2009/01/05/on-hot-gay-statues-with-remarkable-nonchalance-stockholm-obliterates-all-challengers/ (Srsly, who wouldn’t want a piece of that action?)


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