In which The Gay Recluse scores selected opinion pieces in The Times.

Frank Rich/Hillary’s St. Patrick’s Day Massacre

The Short Version: Why is Hillary such a lying liar? To cover up her Iraq vote, of course!

In his words: “Incredible as it seems, the professionals around Mrs. Clinton — though surely knowing her story was false — thought she could tough it out.”

Score: B (Belligerent)
That Rich wants Clinton to go down as a result of her Iraq stance is hardly news, but the psychology of her idiotic Bosnia lie is interesting in a Frank Rich kind of way.

Nicholas Kristof/”With a Few More Brains…“

The Short Version: Americans are so stupid!

In his words: “Alas, when a politician has the double disadvantage of obvious intelligence and an elite education and then on top of that tries to educate the public on a complex issue — as Al Gore did about climate change — then that candidate is derided as arrogant and out of touch.”

The Score: D (Dumb)
Alas, whenever we read Kristof — and this column was no exception — we wonder how he was ever hired to write for The Times, because he is so arrogant and out of touch. (Also: we recommend a ban on any sentence in which he uses either “whites” or “blacks” in an unironic sense.)

Maureen Dowd/Surrender Already, Dorothy

The Short Version: Obama and Clinton are both getting on my nerves! (But Clinton’s worse, of course.)

In her words: “Her foreign affairs plumping-up has hurt her, while his exotic and unorthodox narrative stirs doubt.”

The Score: D (Desultory)
Dowd seems a bit aimless in this column and doesn’t really say anything we don’t already know.