Comments on: On Gay Modern Love: Kayla Rachlin Small Responds and Transcends http://thegayrecluse.com/2008/03/16/on-gay-modern-love-kayla-rachlin-small-responds-and-transcends/ The Gay Recluse: Observation, philosophy and other notes on the beauty and dissonance of life in the city Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:57:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: fellowtraveller http://thegayrecluse.com/2008/03/16/on-gay-modern-love-kayla-rachlin-small-responds-and-transcends/#comment-152 Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:17:14 +0000 http://thegayrecluse.wordpress.com/?p=574#comment-152 Kalya – congratulations on an excellent piece of writing in the NYT. That I’m in a similar position – mid-twenties, just graduated in social anthropology, with CF – makes it all the more resonant. When I read pieces of writing like yours – a public explanation and embrace of the strange (and sometimes painful) normal/abnormal liminality of CF, which I feel I ‘get’ more than anyone without CF reading it – I have a strong urge to get involved with the ‘CF community’ you mention. The condition clothes itself in normalcy, promising a ‘normal’ life and then slowly taking every vestige of that normality away. Ironically, at the same time, the vagaries of cross-infection deny the ‘sufferer’ the opportunity to find solace with others similarly affected. So the idea of a kind of extended CF family seems such a warm and comforting thought; facing down CF’s challenges with others in the same situation, taking them on together, ‘Team CF’.

I’m not sure it’s ever quite worked out for me that way, though. Because much as I enjoy the occasional repartee on the subject of sputum, I spend a lot more of my time doing things that I have in common with other people. Although all of us with CF have this enormous fact of a medical diagnosis in common with each other, CF is also an enigmatically diverse condition; and so everyone has different complications, and progresses differently. Add to that the inherent diversity of people, generally, and it means that we’re about as mixed up as any other group might be. For me, it’s not a binary ‘in/out’, ‘pride/shame’, ‘abnormality/normality’, or (respectfully) ‘you/Thomas’ thing. As you say: “the person I became was just one possible result”- on a continuum of possibilities.

All this said – I think if there was a CF community of people who wrote like you – I might be tempted to give it a go. Thank you, and keep up the great work!

]]>