Gail Collins/Notes from a Caucus

The Short Version: Caucuses are dumb.

In her words: “Most people have never been to a caucus, even if their state happens to have them.”

Score: B+
We weren’t dying of laughter or anything, but Collins made us smile a few times — e.g., “The parking lot was also accommodating the audience for the final performance of High School Musical” — and as for caucuses being arcane and undemocratic, she has a point.

Nicholas Kristof/When We Torture

The Short Version: We — as in the U.S. — are not helping our cause by torturing journalists in Guantanamo.

In his words: “Guantánamo itself does far more damage to American interests than Mr. Hajj could ever do.”

The Score: A-
We have nothing to complain about here. Kristof makes a compelling point about American policy in Guantanamo and delivers it in prose that is relatively restrained and unsanctimonious.

Roger Cohen/Here Comes Kosovo

The Short Version: Kosovo will declare its independence, which is good. (Btw, I’m very smart.)

In his words: “Kosovo is not Transdniestria or Abkhazia or South Ossetia.”

The Score: C (Cohenesque)
Cohen’s column is one we feel obligated to read because on some level we know that the fate of tiny republics emerging from the chaos of the Austria-Hungarian Empire Yugoslavia is important, but we nevertheless feel tired and sad by the end, as we dwell on the ongoing tyranny of nationalism in a world that doesn’t ever seem to have enough room. Cohen’s ivory-tower analysis gives us no sense of this remorse, however, so while we are interested to learn what’s happening, we are relieved to put it aside.